Step 6 of the 12-Step Alcoholics Anonymous Program Explained

Key Takeaways
• Step 6 isn’t asking you to become perfect. It’s inviting you to become willing to release the patterns that keep pulling you back into the same pain, even when those patterns feel familiar.
• “Entirely ready” doesn’t mean you feel brave or confident every day. It means you’re learning to choose recovery again and again, and to keep moving forward even when part of you wants to hold on.
• Step 6 builds on the honesty and self-awareness you’ve already practiced in earlier steps, and it helps turn insight into steady, real-life change over time.
• When you work Step 6 with support, structure, and spiritual grounding, you’re not just staying sober. You’re making room for long-term transformation, healthier relationships, and a steadier life.

Overview: What Step 6 Is and Why It Matters

Step 6 is one of those steps that can sound simple on paper and feel complicated in real life. You read the words and think, Okay… but what does that look like when I’m stressed, tired, triggered, or afraid?

In Alcoholics Anonymous, Step 6 is written this way: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” You’ll see that wording in AA literature, including AA’s Step Six reading from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (AA Step Six PDF).

The reason Step 6 matters is pretty straightforward. Earlier steps help you face reality. Step 6 helps you face what comes next.

You’ve likely already seen some patterns clearly by this point. The ways you react when you feel cornered. The ways you try to control outcomes. The ways you protect yourself, sometimes at the cost of honesty or connection. Step 6 is where you begin loosening your grip on those old strategies.

Not because you’re being shamed into changing.
Because you’re finally ready to live differently.

At Discovery Place, we see Step 6 as a step of readiness and surrender, but also a step of steady growth. It fits naturally into a recovery path that’s structured and supported, like what you’ll find in our program approach and our broader addiction treatment services.

What Step 6 Actually Says (And What It’s Pointing Toward)

Step 6 often gets reduced to a vague idea: “Let God take your character defects.”

But AA literature adds important clarity.

In the Big Book’s chapter “Into Action,” Step 6 is described as a moment where willingness becomes essential: “We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.” That line appears in AA’s official Chapter 6 PDF (Big Book, Chapter 6 PDF).

Then it asks a direct question that cuts through the fog.

Are you ready to let go of what you’ve admitted is objectionable?
Not just the drinking, but what the drinking was tangled up with.

That’s the heart of Step 6. It’s not abstract. It’s practical. It’s about becoming willing to release the inner patterns that keep producing outer chaos.

“Defects of Character” Doesn’t Mean You’re Defective

Let’s pause here, because this wording can land hard.

When AA says “defects of character,” it’s not trying to label you as broken beyond repair. It’s naming the places where your coping has gotten distorted over time.

You can think of “defects” as patterns that once served you, but now harm you.

For many people, these patterns show up as:
• Resentment that simmers under the surface
• Dishonesty, even in small ways, to avoid conflict or rejection
• Control that feels like safety but creates distance
• Fear-based choices that keep life small
• Self-centered thinking that isn’t arrogance, but self-protection

Step 6 isn’t asking you to hate yourself into becoming better. It’s inviting you to see what isn’t working and become ready to live with more freedom.

If alcohol has been part of your story, our alcohol addiction treatment is designed to support both sobriety and deeper life change, not just short-term improvement.

What “Entirely Ready” Really Means

This is where many people get stuck.

“Entirely ready” can sound like you’re supposed to wake up one day fully committed, fully healed, and fully confident. Most people don’t.

Readiness in Step 6 is often more like this:
• You’re tired of repeating the same cycles
• You’re honest about what your patterns cost you
• You’re open to change, even when you feel resistance
• You’re willing to ask for willingness when you don’t have it yet

That last point matters. The Big Book directly acknowledges this human tug-of-war. When you still cling to something you won’t let go of, the guidance is to ask for help to become willing (Big Book, Chapter 6 PDF).

That’s not a failure. That’s the work.

Why Step 6 Builds on Earlier Steps

Step 6 isn’t random. It’s built on what you’ve already done.

Earlier steps help you admit what’s true:
• You can’t muscle your way into freedom
• You need support beyond self-will
• You’ve taken inventory and spoken honestly with someone else

Step 6 takes that awareness and turns it toward a new question:

• Am I willing to change the parts of me that keep leading me back to the same pain?
• This is where recovery starts to become less about crisis management and more about character formation. Not in a performative way. In a real way. The kind of slow growth that becomes visible over time.

At Discovery Place, we often see this step land best when you feel surrounded by steady guidance and community. That’s part of why we emphasize lived experience and daily structure through our program model and the long-range support available through continuing care.

Common Misconceptions About Step 6

“Step 6 means God will instantly fix me.”

Step 6 isn’t a magic wand. It’s a change in posture.

It’s the moment you stop defending what’s hurting you. You start opening your hands.

Change may come gradually. Sometimes it comes in layers. That’s normal.

“I have to feel ready before I start.”

Readiness often grows as you practice willingness.

You might begin Step 6 with mixed feelings. Part of you wants freedom. Part of you wants the comfort of what you know. Step 6 makes room for that reality.

“This step is about shame.”

It’s not.

Step 6 is about hope with honesty. It’s about believing that who you’ve been doesn’t have to be who you remain.

What Working Step 6 Can Look Like in Real Life

You don’t “complete” Step 6 the way you finish a task at work. It’s more like you begin practicing a new way of living.

Here are a few grounded ways Step 6 often shows up day to day.

You start noticing your “go-to” reactions sooner

Maybe you lash out when you feel criticized. Maybe you withdraw. Maybe you lie to avoid discomfort.

Step 6 helps you catch the pattern earlier, which gives you more choices.

You practice letting go of one thing at a time

Some defects feel obvious. Others feel like part of your identity.

Instead of trying to overhaul your whole personality overnight, Step 6 invites a steadier approach: become willing, then keep showing up.

You learn to separate growth from self-hatred

There’s a big difference between saying, “I’m terrible,” and saying, “This pattern is hurting me and others.”

Step 6 lives in that second sentence.

If you’re in a residential setting, that distinction is often reinforced through daily accountability and mentorship. Many men find that structure makes deep honesty feel safer, especially when shame has been loud for a long time. If you’re wondering what that kind of environment feels like, the Discovery Place experience lays it out in a clear, grounded way.

How Willingness Becomes a Practice (Not Just a Feeling)

Willingness is not just a thought you have. It’s something you practice.

Sometimes willingness looks like:
• Picking up the phone instead of isolating
• Telling the truth when a lie would be easier
• Pausing before you react
• Accepting feedback without spiraling
• Praying for help, even in plain words

AA’s Big Book is direct about the role of willingness in this step (Big Book, Chapter 6 PDF). You don’t have to manufacture it alone. You can ask for it.

At Discovery Place, our faith foundation supports this in a grounded way. We’re not asking you to perform spirituality. We’re inviting you into a life where humility, honesty, and purpose can take root.

What Loved Ones Should Know About Step 6

If you’re supporting someone through the Steps, Step 6 can be confusing to watch from the outside. You might think, “Haven’t they already admitted what they did wrong?” Or, “Why does change still feel so slow?”

Step 6 is where a person starts loosening patterns that may have been built over decades. That takes time.

It can also be emotional. When someone becomes ready to change, they may grieve what they used to rely on, even when it was harmful. They may feel exposed. They may feel tender.

Support matters here, for them and for you. Discovery Place offers family support because healing is rarely isolated. It affects everyone who loves the person doing the work.

How Structured Treatment Can Support Step 6

Step 6 is spiritual, but it’s also practical. It’s about change, and change is easier when your environment supports it.

Structured treatment can help because it provides:
• Consistent accountability
• Daily routine that reduces chaos
• Community support when you feel stuck
• Space to practice new responses

For some men, the right entry point is a focused reset through our 30-day rehab program. For others, deeper rebuilding happens best through long-term recovery programming, especially when old patterns have had years to take root.

And if you’re trying to figure out what level of care makes sense right now, our admissions process offers a calm place to start.

A Simple Way to Approach Step 6 Today

If Step 6 feels big, don’t try to swallow it whole.

Start with this:

1. Name one pattern you know is hurting you or others.
2. Ask yourself what you get from it, even if it’s unhealthy comfort.
3. Ask for willingness to let go, even partially.
4. Talk to someone safe (a sponsor, counselor, trusted mentor).
5. Practice one small change the next time that pattern shows up.

This is how readiness grows. Not in grand declarations, but in repeated choices.

And if you’re not sure where to begin, that’s okay. You can start by reaching out. The next step doesn’t have to be dramatic. It just has to be honest.

If you want to talk with someone about treatment options in Tennessee, you can connect with our team through the contact page. We’ll meet you with clarity, compassion, and a steady path forward.

FAQs

What does Step 6 mean by “defects of character,” and do I have to agree with that wording?

In AA’s language, “defects of character” points to inner patterns that create harm or keep you spiritually stuck, not a statement that you’re a bad person. You don’t have to love the wording for the step to help you. Many people translate it into simpler terms like “old coping patterns” or “ways I protect myself that aren’t working anymore.” The goal is the same: becoming willing to release what blocks growth and healthy relationships, especially when those patterns once felt like survival.

How do you know you’re “entirely ready” if part of you still wants to hold on?

Mixed feelings are normal. Entire readiness doesn’t always feel like confidence. Sometimes it looks like honesty: “I don’t want to let go of this, but I’m willing to be willing.” AA’s Big Book makes room for that by encouraging you to ask for help in becoming willing when you feel stuck (Big Book, Chapter 6 PDF). Readiness often grows through consistent support, real conversations, and practicing new responses when life gets stressful.

Is Step 6 something you do once, or something you keep returning to?

Many people return to Step 6 over time. As life changes, new stressors can bring old patterns back to the surface. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human. Step 6 can become a steady checkpoint: “Am I willing to let go of what’s hurting me today?” Over time, that repeated willingness supports emotional maturity and helps sobriety feel less fragile and more grounded.

How can treatment help with Step 6 when the step feels spiritual and personal?

Treatment can support Step 6 by giving you a stable environment to practice change. When you’re not constantly putting out fires, you can actually look at what’s driving your reactions and learn healthier ways to respond. Structure and accountability can make willingness feel more realistic, especially when you’re exhausted or overwhelmed. A plan that includes longer-term support, like long-term recovery and continuing care, can help you live out Step 6 through daily choices, not just good intentions.

Sources
• Alcoholics Anonymous World Services. “Step Six” from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2022-01/en_step6.pdf
• Alcoholics Anonymous World Services. “Into Action” (Chapter 6) from Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book). https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_chapt6.pdf
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. SAMHSA’s Working Definition of Recovery. https://library.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/pep12-recdef.pdf