Did you know that over 100,000 weekly meetings are currently listed in the AA Meeting app? You’re not on your own as you do the hard work of recovery. When you’re trying to get and stay sober from alcohol, you have all kinds of help and support at your fingertips. With that said, it’s one thing to attend a meeting; it’s another to get out of it what you need to stay clean and thrive. That’s why it’s important to know what to expect at an AA meeting and what you can do to maximize each meeting’s impact.
What to Expect at an AA Meeting: AA Meeting Guidelines
Whether you went to an AA meeting long ago or have never attended one, what happens at an AA meeting can vary by region, location, time, and personality. There are many different types of AA meetings out there. What makes meetings unique is that there are no official rules or regulations to follow. However, there are certain AA meeting guidelines and features that you can expect to encounter in any meeting you choose.
12 Steps and 12 Traditions
Alcoholics Anonymous and AA meetings are always rooted in the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, a book written by AA co-founder Bill Willson. These 12 Steps and 12 Traditions make up the basic principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. The 12 Steps provide a blueprint or path toward recovery for AA members to follow, and meetings may address these specific steps that members are working on within their recovery journeys. Such steps include admitting that you’re powerless over alcohol (step one), taking a moral inventory of yourself (step four), and making a list of all the people you’ve harmed in order to make amends (step eight).
On the other hand, the 12 Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous give structure and guidance both to local AA meetings and to Alcoholics Anonymous as a whole. These 12 traditions prioritize the group’s common welfare, require AA members to stop drinking, and encourage AA groups to be self-supporting, for example.
AA Meeting Etiquette
When you attend a 12-Step or AA meeting, there is often standard AA meeting etiquette that members and attendees are expected to follow. Having AA meeting guidelines for general behavior in place can make meetings less stressful and more comfortable, especially for new members. At the same time, they create a kind and respectful environment that allows the group to help members in their time of suffering. Some common etiquette suggestions include:
- Avoid crosstalk: Instead of singling out one person in the group when you share, it’s better to direct your message to the entire group so everyone can benefit.
- Limit when you leave your seat: Get your coffee, take a smoke break, or go to the bathroom before a meeting starts so you can be present and not a distraction.
- Be mindful of your sharing time: Some meetings may have a time limit in place for sharing so everyone can have the chance to participate.
- Respect anonymity: Maintaining confidentiality protects both the attendees and the group as a whole. What happens in the group stays in the group.
AA Meeting Topics
Many 12-Step and AA meetings follow a discussion format, where each member has a chance to share. During discussions, there are specific AA meeting topics that may be addressed. These topics allow group members to be open and honest about their struggles, as well as provide perspective and encouragement to those who need it. Specific AA meeting topics you may encounter include:
- Acceptance
- Spirituality’s role in recovery
- Forgiveness
- Making amends
- Inadequacy
- Meditation
- Patience and tolerance
- Complacency
- Responsibility declaration
- Sponsorship
- Service
- Understanding anonymity
SOURCE: AA.org
Different Types of AA Meetings: Choosing the Right One for You
As mentioned earlier, there are different types of AA meetings out there to choose from, and many meetings across the country and around the world at any given time. Because meeting types vary, it’s a good idea to do your research in advance to determine which type of meeting works best for you.
Local AA meetings, for example, will be held in-person in various places where rooms can be rented, such as offices, churches, community centers, and treatment facilities. In these meetings, you’ll interact with other people who likely live in your area. On the other hand, telephone and online AA meetings are also options for people who want more anonymity, flexibility, or convenience.
Meetings can also be open or closed. Open AA meetings are available to anyone interested in AA, and you don’t have to be a member to attend. Nonalcoholics may also attend meetings as observers. But what is a closed AA meeting? Closed meetings, alternatively, are for AA members only or for those who specifically have a drinking problem and desire to stop drinking.
The Alcoholics Anonymous meeting structure can also vary. Some meetings are discussion-based, where AA meeting topics are addressed openly, allowing all members to share. Meetings can also follow a speaker format, where an AA member is selected in advance to share about their struggles, their progress, and their recovery now. Other groups are beginner-focused, where a member who’s been sober for some time helps newcomers navigate the first few of the 12 Steps, explains AA.org.
An AA Meeting Schedule: How Often Should You Attend?
Just as there are only AA meeting guidelines and not official rules, there are no expectations for how many meetings you should attend in a given period of time. Everyone’s recovery journey is different, which means their participation in 12-step or AA meetings will look different, too. With that said, most members plan to attend at least one meeting a week, according to AA.org. Others may choose to go to meetings every day, if they’re available (this is often more doable due to virtual or online AA meetings).
When you’re early in your recovery journey, attending meetings more frequently may be in your best interest. Newcomers tend to benefit from attending a large number of meetings in the first weeks and months in an AA or 12-Step group. Many people in AA, no matter where they are in the recovery process, have found that the quality of their sobriety suffers when they stay away from meetings for too long. By continuing some regular cadence of meeting attendance, you can satisfy your need for connection among the group, helping you maintain sobriety long-term.
AA Meeting Guide: Tips for Getting the Most Out of a Meeting
“Learning to be a kind and respectful participant of a meeting, even one you may never return to, helps the group uphold its primary purpose: to carry its message to the still suffering member.” – Adam Landry, Lead Guide at Discovery Place
Sometimes just showing up to meetings on a consistent basis is a major step in the right direction when you’re in recovery. However, if you truly want to make each meeting count for your sobriety growth, what can you do? Here are some important tips to remember to help you get the most out of your AA or 12-Step meetings:
Come Early and Stay Late – Addiction and recovery can be lonely journeys. While attending a meeting can help combat this, choosing to come early or stay after the meeting ends can really help foster community and cultivate friendship. In fact, the fellowship you have with other men during this extra time is often the best part of the meeting experience.
Try Out Different Options – Because there are different types of AA meetings out there, the first one you try may not be the ideal fit for you. Rather than giving up, consider trying out a few different meeting options. You may get more out of speaker-led meetings rather than group discussions, or vice versa. Getting exposed to various meeting types will help you find what works well for your recovery.
Read the AA Thought for the Day – In between meetings, the AA thought for the day, or Daily Reflections, can provide supportive encouragement and affirmation needed along the recovery journey. These short resources posted daily on the Alcoholics Anonymous website can help you stay focused on your sobriety throughout your week, which then puts you in a better headspace when you’re attending meetings.
Seek Mentorship – Many AA groups will offer recovery sponsors or AA sponsors to members, especially newcomers. These sponsors are more seasoned members of the group who can provide sober mentorship, including personalized accountability, perspective, and encouragement, to your journey. It’s a great idea to take advantage of this mentorship and meet with your sponsor regularly outside of normal group times.
Keep Coming Back – Recovery isn’t easy. You may continue to struggle or face discouragement even after attending meetings. That doesn’t mean the meetings aren’t helping or working. Sobriety takes time. Instead of quitting your meetings out of frustration, continue to stick with it — and it will get better.
Get Clean at The Discovery Place
Attending AA or 12-Step meetings can be a key tool for achieving lasting sobriety. That’s why we utilize these meeting formats throughout our 12-Step spiritual retreat at Discovery Place in Burns, Tennessee. Whether it’s in our 30-Day Rehab, Long-Term Recovery, or Discover Living programs, we teach men like you how to practice the principles of AA and the 12 Steps in order to finally get clean. If you’re ready to overcome alcohol addiction and find a life of meaning and purpose, contact us today. We can help you finally become “unthirsty” for drinks or drugs and reclaim the happy, joyous, and free life you deserve. If you’re ready to get back on track and achieve long-term sobriety, call us today.
