Problems. So many problems. There’s money problems, relationship problems, work problems and health problems. Active addiction has made mountain ranges out of ant hills. All of my escaping and withdrawing from life did not prevent life from happening and it happened, problematically.
“Will she take me back?” “How am I going to pay for this?” “My resume is a disaster, no one will hire me.” “They all must hate me.”
Every type of problem one could think of was waiting in the wings. The biggest problem, and we often don’t see, admit or face it, is our addictions. Something needs to be done.
Finding Hope Through Help
Here is where outside intervention can step in and save us, if we let it. Maybe a family member or co-worker suggests treatment and offers a helping hand. We accept, and a small but significant sense of hope begins to take root. Help is on the way.
For many, next comes detox. Safely removed physically from the substances we have been using, it’s time to check into a residential facility where I can learn how to be sober. In the mind of many, an education on the inner workings of why they use drugs and drink awaits.
The answers will finally solve the riddle and free us to be happy and healthy. Check in day arrives. Smiles and friendly hellos greet tired, scared and curious eyes desperate for a break from the fear and craving.
After a brief interview, someone asks you to follow them as they guide you around the grounds of your temporary new home, a casual Dad-joke here or there to set you at ease does not help much.
“This is your room.” As you enter, there before you is a bed. A fully made bed, pillow case, comforter neatly folded at the head revealing a tucked and folded sheet atop the fitted sheet. Clean and safe.
Can you imagine how different that scenario plays out if the bed was not made? A used bed? Unfathomable! Something so intimately simple. An afterthought. In my mind when I think of a random bed, it’s always made. A bed is a made bed, that’s a bed.
It wasn’t always this way with me. As obvious as the aforementioned scene is for demonstration purposes, there were long periods of my adult life where the making of my bed was as unimportant as a screen door on a submarine. Completely useless and never a concern.
Not only did I not consider making my bed daily, I couldn’t be bothered with such trivial activities. I had important issues to attend to (in my mind). There isn’t enough time in an average day to worry about that.
I’m just going to sleep in it again tonight, what’s the point? Worst of all, during certain periods, it was made for me by someone else; a maid, a Mom, a partner. Talk about obliviousness. That was me.
The Humbling Lesson in a Simple Task
Imagine my flustered bewilderment when it was immediately suggested, no, asked of me, to make my bed as soon as I woke up. I thought I was admitted to a work camp. Make my bed? Are you joking?
That wasn’t the end of it either. Multiple times I would hear from staff, “Did you make your bed?” “Is your bed made?” They would confidently profess the Zen of making your bed. The benefits of the practice were explained like it was the missing link in a secret chain of events leading to Utopia.
Reluctantly, and most likely because my pride wouldn’t let me be judged, I made my bed that first morning. The next morning, again, I made the bed. Today, it is the only thing (other than NOT drink or take drugs) that I have done perfectly.
My friend and co-worker Andrew Mitchell said of making his bed: “It’s the first victory of the day.”
To that end, if there comes a day where nothing seems to be going right, obstacles and perceived failures are at every turn, coming home to a bed made is not only a practical relief, but a symbol of a day that started well, and therefore not all bad.
In the beginning it was a tangible task. As much as the idea perplexed me, I could achieve it. It wasn’t mystic knowledge or esoteric information. It was a simple physical act that provided me with a 3 to 5 minute break from running off the deep end of my mind.
And, possibly most pertinent and important, despite my best efforts to believe myself special and unique, tortured and misunderstood, this basic earthly chore was not beneath me. It provided a glimpse into that strange and scary cave of humility.
The basic building block of all spiritual growth and progress. Another beloved co-worker here at Discovery Place, Christie Cordero made the point, “Making my bed was one of the first things I was willing to do.”
Being willing to try new, uncomfortable actions is what keeps an addict sober.
I have since found many additional acts of service, gratitude and good health, ingredients that make up the stew of a sober life well lived. There are too many to count or name. I believe none of them would be visible in my life if I wasn’t asked point blank on day 1 of my sobriety: “Did you make your bed?”
Ready to Start Your Journey to Recovery?
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone. At Discovery Place, we offer compassionate care and proven programs to help you reclaim your life. Reach out to us today to learn more about how we can support you on your path to sobriety. Call us anytime at 1-800-725-0922 or fill out our contact form to take the first step toward lasting recovery.
