Understanding the True Nature of Alcoholism
Imagine you are suffering from an illness, which centers in the mind, and its primary symptoms include: restlessness, irritability, negative self-image, being overly critical of others, self-pity, depression and general anxiety. Now also imagine that a few drinks make these symptoms temporarily disappear and replaces them with essentially the opposite feelings.
The Illusion of Relief: Alcoholism’s Vicious Cycle
What was restlessness is now comfort and a sense that life means something. What started as negative self-image is drastically over-hauled to a feeling that you are going somewhere, doing something wholesome and it means something more than you can describe.
On the surface it would be logical to take those drinks every single time. Now imagine that when you do, a reaction in the body takes place that all but guarantees you won’t stop drinking until it’s too late and real consequences occur.
Now you have a reason not to take those drinks equally as valid as the reason you drank them in the first place. This is a classic Kobayashi Maru scenario. The aforementioned is a reference to a training scenario in the Star Trek franchise in which the trainee is faced with a situation in which either choice is a negative one.
We call this a dilemma. On the surface, this choice is a “lose” “lose” scenario. What the sufferer has yet to be offered is a way out. A door number three if you will.
The Real Struggle: Beyond Simple Abstinence
It’s abundantly clear to most people directly affected by alcoholism and drug addiction that under the surface hides a deeper problem; a problem of the mind, body and spirit. Some call it a “hole in the soul.” Others describe it as a persistent feeling of dissatisfaction. We can all attest that the problem does not go away immediately by the simple cessation of drinking and or drug use.
Our executive director Thomas McCollum often says, “Abstinence is not the cure for alcoholism.” Please don’t misunderstand that statement. Abstinence is required for the process of recovery to work in an individual.
The Concept of the ‘Dry Drunk’
Abstinence alone, can be miserable; heartbreakingly miserable. We call a person existing in that state a “dry drunk.” Existing is the perfect word for it. Surviving on instinct and fear alone, the sufferer is doomed to constant craving for more of anything and everything they can find to provide a moment of peace from the incessant noise in their mind.
“What’s the point?” “You always do this, no one likes you.” “Life is meaningless.” “I’m not o.k.” “It’s always going to be this way.” “Other people are happy, but that’s not available to you.” These are just a small sampling of the hurtful and myopic statements that the mind of an alcoholic or drug addict can make.
Despite the fact that these statements are objectively false, they are as real as it gets when one is caught in the middle of this type of thinking. In the book Alcoholics Anonymous, Dr. William D. Silkworth describes this state of mind as “restless, irritable and discontented.”
No matter what the external conditions may or may not be, the internal condition is in a perpetual state of scanning, searching, yearning, wanting, judging and approval seeking. It makes demands on others and on self that are impossible to meet. This is no way to live.
I’ve been there, and it’s miserable. As a matter of fact, when I found myself in that state of mind I eventually relapsed back to drinking and drug use, a fate far worse than the state of mind that instigated it. Unfortunately this is common among people who live an “abstinence-only” life.
Finding True Recovery: Tools Beyond Abstinence
Thankfully, I don’t live like that today. I have been given the choice, more vitally the tools, to walk out of suffering towards a way of life that does not require drugs or alcohol to be happy, content and free of constant fear. The tools I implement are the very same tools I learned here at Discovery Place.
They include basic principles of hope, honesty, love, acceptance, integrity and willingness. I show up for others, and for myself today. The best part; this all happens naturally over time. I no longer react to life helplessly driven by emotion like a flag on a flag pole blowing in the wind. Life is just life. I’m me. Who knew!
Seeking Help: Moving Toward Lasting Recovery
If you or a loved one is currently suffering from the challenges of sobriety, call us. We can help.
