Making Amends: Is This to Make You Feel Better or For Them?

Making Amends: Is This to Make You Feel Better or For Them?

No one really wants to live with feelings of guilt, shame, anger, or depression. As human beings, we are programmed to be social creatures. This does not mean that some of us are not introverted, especially in sobriety. It just goes to say that we interact with others and continue to be part of a thriving society.

That begs the question: how do we compensate for the behaviors we engaged in during active addiction that we would otherwise rather not think about? Well, first we must admit to ourselves that we did act in one way or another. Once we do so, we can start to assess any ways in which we may have hurt other people or reacted in a way that was not in other’s best interests. From here, we can begin the amends process.

Making amends may help assuage us, though approaching it as so can increase our not-so-positive feelings if the other individual does not respond in the way you had hoped they would. We set high expectations that everyone will forgive us as we know that our behaviors were directly in response to our addiction. However, we cannot force someone else to be on the same timeline as we are. Therefore, they may not forgive us. Making amends is truly for those in our lives that we have hurt whether they want to accept our apology or not.

Making Amends and the 12-Steps

Getting sober is the first step, then comes recovery. Recovery requires the same hard work you put into your active addiction but focused on a substance-free existence. There are many avenues you can take to help you continue daily recovery.

Making Amends: Is This to Make You Feel Better or For Them?

12-Step programs, such as AA and NA, have established steps to take to aid you in managing your recovery. Making amends is a big part of this process. In 12-Step Programs, step 8 is all about making amends: “We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” Step 9 continues this journey: “We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Sponsors are a wonderful resource to guide you in making your amends as well as in coping with the outcomes of doing so.

Where Can I Turn For Help Getting Sober Before Making Amends?

Along with peer group support meetings, the trained professionals, such as those at Discovery Place in Burns, Tennessee, can help guide you to a life free of alcohol and mind-altering substances. We understand that 12-Step programs can play a crucial role in you maintaining your recovery and thus base our programs off a 12-Step attitude. Our alternative recovery program has an amazing combination of trained professionals who utilize a 12-step philosophy: 12-Step recovery meetings, sponsorship, sustained work on the 12 Steps, and continued events and communication. Call us today at 1-800-725-0922 to start your drug and alcohol- free life! We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to help you kick opiates, alcohol, cannabis, and other mind-altering habits.